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Jessica Stephens not her real namea San Francisco mother of four, has heard the term "hooking up" among her teenage sons' friends, but she's just not sure what it means. Does it mean they're having oral sex? Teens use the expression hooking up or "messing around" or "friends with benefits" to describe everything from kissing to having oral sex or intercourse. But it does not mean they are dating. Hooking up isn't a new phenomenon -- it's been around for at least 50 years.
Today, hooking up instead of dating has become the norm. About two-thirds of teens say at least some of their friends have hooked up. There's also been a rise in heavy petting and oral sex among younger kids -- starting as early as age Experts say today's busier, less attentive parents and the constant displays of casual sex on TV and in the movies have contributed to the change in teen sexual behavior. Teens also have access to the Internet and text messaging, which impersonalizes relationships and emboldens them to do things they wouldn't dare do in person.
She intended to "show him" with oral sex. So what can you do to prevent your kids from hooking up? You should start the conversation about sex before they hit the preteen and teen years, when they learn about it from TV or their friends, Wallace says. Clearly, this isn't your parents' "birds and bees" sex talk.
You need to recognize that your teens are going to have a sex life and to be totally open and honest about your expectations of them when it comes to sex. That means being clear about what behaviors you are -- and aren't -- OK with them doing online, while text messaging, and during a hook-up.
If you're embarrassed, it's OK to admit it. But it's a conversation you need to have. Know what your kids are doing -- who they're ing, instant messaging, and hanging out with. Analyze sex in the media: When you watch TV or movies together, use any sexual messages you Teen hookup stories as a jumping-off point to start a conversation about sex. Be curious: When your kids get home from a night out, ask questions: "How was the party?
What did you do?
Avoid accusing your teens of wrongdoing. Instead of asking, "Are you hooking up?
Parenting Feature Stories. Even Pre-Teens Are Hooking Up There's also been a rise in heavy petting and oral sex among younger kids -- starting as early as age Talking to Teens About Sex So what can you do to prevent your kids from hooking up? Continued Other ways to keep the channels of communication open include: Know what your kids are doing -- who they're ing, instant messaging, and hanging out with.
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